Eyebag Electrocution

I had the last of my three-for-two acne/peeling treatments last Thursday. The last part of the procedure, the "fun part" (to quote Dr. Addie), in which the dermatologist takes a swabful of a mysterious acid from an amber bottle (probably three parts muriatic acid and one part Zonrox bleach) and wipes it all over your freshly punctured face, had me squealing in pain while the stuff burned into my pores. Holy mother of god, I can think of a lot of other things that are less excruciating. Broken ankle. Typhoid fever. Accidentally hooking your tongue on the sharp part of your braces. Molar extraction!

During the pre-surgery facial, the "easy part" (skin brushing, t-zone suction, clay mask, steaming, the works), the attendant talked me into getting a "galvanic" eyebag treatment for an extra hundred bucks. I agreed to have it without even knowing how it was done, and it was too late to back out when she handed me an ominous metal rod, which I was supposed to hold in my right hand while she repeatedly ran over my eyelids another metal rod shaped like a Y with rounded ends, through which coursed a small electric charge. What voltage was involved, I never thought to ask. I just screamed inside my head and tried not to think of burning flesh while I felt the weird prickly sparks coming from the metal touching my eyelids. I can't tell whether the procedure had any effect at all. Perhaps one needs more than one session to have appreciable results. I'm not doing all that again, though, because it was too much like voluntarily standing next to an electric pole in a lightning storm. The next time I feel like zapping my eyebags, maybe I'll just pour water under the refrigerator, take my slippers off and grab the handle.

Post-procedure Frankenstein face notwithstanding, I went directly to the department store to shop for a tank top. Felt a little self-conscious and tried to cover my face with my hair. I might have lost my nerve to hang around if it hadn't been for a really cool jacket that caught my eye. Had to have it. Also had to have three different tank tops in white, beige and black. I'm putting the cart before the horse here, but I'll bet they'll look good with my new face :)