Thirty-six. Yippee?

It's 12:54 am on October 21st where I am, and that makes me officially thirty-six years of age. The man I was waiting for lost his way yet again, and so ends my girlish anticipation of the appearance of "The One" as my 11th hour birthday present this year. Every year it is the same; you think this year might be it, but it never is.

I was supposed to treat my friends out for cakes and coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at The Block, but following the afternoon bombing at Glorietta last Friday, I had to cancel that little party because some of my friends got caught up in the paranoia that The Block might be the next item in the terrorist's shopping list. I understand that they only want to be careful, and I would never drag them someplace that's potentially dangerous, but I've done some thinking and it seems to me that whether you go to the mall today or wait it out till things die down, there's no guarantee that the day you finally feel safe to go there won't be the day some lunatic decides to put an explosive in the toilet.

With nothing to do on the eve of my birthday, I set out alone to the National Bookstore on Quezon Avenue and bought myself a hair dryer (in under 10 minutes; I shop like a man) and two books - Jane Austen's "Persuasion" and Haruki Murakami's "Blind Willow Sleeping Woman". I would have liked to buy a cd too, but they didn't have the Silverchair album that I wanted. On the way home I picked up a cheeseburger meal, put P500 worth of gas in the car (from the money I would have spent on today's cancelled party), and got a P20 Shell coupon that got me a free half-pack of fags that I hope will be my last.

It's 1:34 am on the clock. Twenty-two and a half hours to go. Who knows, maybe he might show up yet. But that's pushing my luck. Expect no surprises, and you'll be just fine. Like it says on my Pilot's calendar: "An Insufferably Inevitable and Obligatorily Happy Birthday to you, you pathetic little wrinkled spinster. Good advice for the perpetually troubled: Suck it up and keep on living."